Random Thought

How to read a Rick Riordan Book

by Calypso "Caly"

All right everyone. It's time to admit the truth. If you are a die hard Rick Riordan fan like moi, then you know that you go through one or two of the same steps I do.

There is a specific way to read a Rick Riordan book. Steps need to be followed in order to get maximum enjoyment from Uncle Rick's books. You can't pick up one of his books without going through any of these steps. It is downright impossible.

So what are they?

STEP ONE:

Prepare yourself for the heartbreak the ending will cause.

Every fan of Rick knows how each and every one of his endings leaves you with a shattered heart that just becomes mere splinters as the long year passes by. If someone is picking up his books for the first time. Wait. Wait until all of them are out and buy them as a bundle. Trust me. You will save your sanity. It's like being a demigod. The more involved/aware you are, the worst it becomes. His endings are not cliffhangers. They are cliffhangers of doom that just make you skip the cliff and go straight for the free fall into the Underworld.

Every time one of his new books come out, I have to mentally prepare myself as I walk into the store to buy it. Some people call me crazy. I don't. If I don't prepare myself, I will become crazy. And nobody wants me crazy. Ask my friends. These endings kill me.

STEP TWO:

Now that you have prepared yourself for the worst ending ever thought of, admire the cover. You know that these covers are just downright amazing. Look at The Lightning Thief and place it next to the cover of The Son of Neptune or whatever the latest one is. Admire how much your beloved Percy has grown.

Hug it to your chest. You know that it is the best purchase you have made since you bought the last one. How can any book compare to it? How can anything compare to it? Who needs food when you have a Rick Riordan book? Am I being too dramatic? Maybe. Why am I writing like this and answering myself? I'm going crazy waiting for The Mark of Athena.

STEP THREE:

You have officially bought the book. You made your mom or dad drive you to whatever store you bought it from so you can start it in the car. But wait! Before you can even dream of flipping to the front page, you have to read the inside jacket or the back of the book. Best know what you are diving into. Even though you have probably read the Amazon description a bajillion times already. It's nice to read it from the actual thing.

STEP FOUR:

Here comes the time to read the funny chapter titles. Each one gives you a hint at what you will find in each chapter. If you are reading a Heroes of Olympus book, there is no chapter titles, but simple names like Percy, Jason, Hazel, ect. Instead, you carefully flip to the glossary in the back to get a good sense on which god/goddess/monster will make an apperance. BE CAREFUL. You do not want to ruin the cliffhanger before you even start the book. That means you won't even want to finish it.

STEP FIVE:

Look for the title of the next book. Just something to do to make your heartbreak begin a little early. Coming Fall 201-Blah? AAWW!!

STEP SIX:

You are now fully prepared to delve into the book. Get ready for heart pounding action, good ol' good vs. evil, quests, the cliffhanger...You can now enjoy the book. The steps are completed. You can read the book in one sitting and then wait the killer year for the next one.

***

There you go. All of the proper steps needed to read a Rick Riordan book. Okay. Not really. Those are just the crazy steps I take to read them. I cannot read any of the books without doing that first. Crazy? Probably.

Caly